Traditional prayer
A Widow’s Prayer
O Almighty God, I fall down before Thee in the agony of my soul.
Thou hast taken my beloved one from mine eyes, I have none to help me, my heart is desolate.
O comfort me, for I am very greatly troubled.
Teach me, O God, in this awful hour of affliction, in this great bereavement, in this most bitter day, to have patience and Christian resignation.
Teach me to bow meekly to Thy will, that my affliction may not utterly break me down, that I may be able to bear it.
Thou knowest my sufferings, my sorrows, my tears; look upon me and succor me.
Enable me to bear this weight of trial, for of myself I am unable to bear it.
O pity me, Good Lord; pity me, most Gracious Father: for Christ’s sake turn Thou Thy face towards me, and mercifully accept my prayer. Amen.
About this prayer
This prayer comes from the section “Prayers for the Use of Mourners” in the 1888 Manual of Prayers, the prayer book ordered by the Third Plenary Council of Baltimore. It was written for anyone bereaved. We give it to widows because it speaks a widow’s grief without softening it: “Thou hast taken my beloved one from mine eyes... my heart is desolate.”
“Christian resignation” here does not mean pretending. The same prayer says “my sufferings, my sorrows, my tears” to God’s face. Resignation is handing the weight over, “for of myself I am unable to bear it,” not feeling nothing.
Scripture does not overlook widows. “Honour widows, that are widows indeed,” St. Paul writes, and “she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, let her trust in God, and continue in supplications and prayers night and day” (1 Timothy 5:3, 5, Douay-Rheims). Anna the prophetess, widowed after seven years of marriage, “departed not from the temple, by fastings and prayers serving night and day,” and was among the first to speak of the Christ Child (Luke 2:36–38). At the gate of Naim, Christ saw a widow following her only son’s bier, was “moved with mercy towards her,” and said, “Weep not” (Luke 7:12–13).
St. Monica was a widow too. Her son Augustine called her “that chaste, godly, and sober widow (such as Thou lovest)” (Confessions, Book III, trans. E. B. Pusey), and the old Roman Missal read St. Paul’s words on widows at the Mass of her feast.
When to pray it
- In the first days, when you cannot find words of your own.
- On the anniversary of his death, your wedding anniversary, and his birthday.
- At night, when the house is quiet.
- At his grave.
- If grief has become a darkness you cannot see out of, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, tonight. In an emergency, call 911.